Thursday, December 30, 2010

Once Upon A Time...

Once upon a time…okay, a few weeks ago... December 8th to be exact, I went back to work.  Thankfully, it’s only part-time or I think I would die a thousand deaths.  I’m not being dramatic, that’s not how I roll.  I have really enjoyed going back to work.  I really enjoy the independence of being a working woman.  Nope, can’t do it.  I thought maybe I could lie to myself.  Turns out, I’m much too clever for that.  If you’re wondering why I haven’t enjoyed going back to work, it’s because of this:
And this...

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go crawl in a corner somewhere and lament on how much she grows and changes in such a short time, and therefore how much I miss by being gone three days a week. 

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A Blessed Three Months, and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Today, my sweet baby girl is three months old.  I can’t believe how much she’s grown in that time.  I see her every day, and she sneaks it by me.  Then, one day, I wake up and wonder how she got so big! Watching her grow is bittersweet.  I’m sad to see how fast it’s going, but at the same time, it’s so much fun.  Also today, I went to see my doctor, because my body has been doing some abnormal things since I gave birth.  While I was in the exam room waiting, I heard a woman crying outside in the hallway.  I gathered from the bits of the conversation I was hearing that she had miscarried.  My heart ached for her, and I was reminded once again of how blessed I am.  Dean and I have marveled at how blessed, and how fortunate we’ve been in the last few months.  I can think of a few acquaintances whose babies were born around the same time as Dinah, and more than one of them had extended hospital stays or even losses.  I’m so blessed and so thankful to have a sweet, HEALTHY baby girl. 
I’ve heard the Christmas story every year since I can remember.  I’ve heard it in many ways, whether it be simply the words from the Bible, or a song, or a play.  This year, I see it differently than ever before.  The sermon Sunday morning was over Luke 2, but instead of focusing on just the birth of Jesus, we read farther through the dedication of the baby Jesus at the temple.  Luke 2:34-35 stood out to me, it says :  Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: “This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too.”  As I thought about that passage, I thought of it from the perspective of Mary, of a mother.  How much joy and sadness she must’ve felt.  And, I thought of it from the perspective of an ordinary woman.  This Christmas, I’m reminded of how blessed I truly am.  As my mother put it this morning, a baby changes things.  My own baby has changed my life forever.  That baby, Jesus, has changed my life even more, and eternally, along with the lives of every other human who accepts Him for who He is. 

And, since I likely will not take the time to post anything for a few days, I pray you all have a Merry Christmas, and that God will richly bless you this year. 
(Sorry the pic is a little blurry.  That’s what happens when you snap a picture on the fly, using a camera on a Stone Age phone, with a subject that is never still. )

Friday, December 17, 2010

Oh, Christmas Tree!

I love my Christmas tree.  It’s big, and pretty, and it was the gift that Dean and I gave each other for our first Christmas.  It makes me happy.  Last year, it had to stay in storage because we lived in a travel trailer while we built our house.  Oh, but this year, the house is finished enough to put it up…and unfinished enough that we still have room for it.  To cut back on cost of decorations, we picked up pinecones at our apartment complex that first Christmas, sprinkled them with glitter, and hung them on the tree.  I still love it, even three years later. 
I snapped a picture with my stone-age camera, so it’s not the best quality.  It’s hard enough to get a good picture of a Christmas tree with a good camera.   
And, the best part of our Christmas tree this year is that Dinah loves to look at it. 

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Sometimes Dreams Do Collide

I had big dreams once.  I guess we all do.  My idea of what I wanted to be when I grew up changed a little over time, but mostly it stayed the same.  When I was three, I wanted to be a paramedic.  This was largely connected to the fact that my favorite TV show, aside from Smurfs, was Emergency.  In first grade, I said I wanted to be a Truck Driver, probably because that’s what my big brother wanted to be when he grew up.  Mostly throughout childhood, I wanted to sing country music, or just sing really.  If we’re being completely honest, that idea has always remained in the back of my mind.  When I graduated high school, I was going to be a surgeon or a pediatrician, and live in Montana on a horse ranch.  After a couple of semesters of college, I realized that dream didn’t sound nearly as appealing.  I was fascinated with medicine, but hated chemistry, and Montana was, well IS, much too cold for my taste.  My college career from that point on was one of uncertainty.  I just really didn’t know what I wanted to do.  In all that time, one thing never crossed my mind: Stay-at-home Mom.  I wanted to get married, and I didn’t rule out the possibility of kids, but that’s as far as it went.  I thought women who wanted to stay home had no ambition.  Over the last few years, God has changed my heart and my view on this.  At this point, I still have some dreams for my future, but I know they need to be molded some more.   My dream for this moment in time is to stay at home with my precious daughter.  I realize now how important that is.  Last week, after 11 weeks at home, I went back to work.  I’m only working on a part-time basis.  It’s all I had the heart for, and I couldn’t, nor did I want to afford daycare.  I felt in my heart of hearts, that God did not give me a child for someone else to raise.  He entrusted her to me.  So, until I can afford to stay home with her all the time, I am working three days a week.  My mother is driving down each week to stay with Dinah while I work, and going home again on weekends.
And, I still have big dreams. 

What are yours?

Thursday, December 9, 2010


At long last, I have the time and resources to introduce the newest addition to our family:

Meet Dinah Clare.  
And, it only took me eleven weeks.  Since the start of my blogging hiatus, everything…and nothing, has changed.  In an instant, I went from a young married woman, to a mother.  It’s still kind of surreal sometimes, but really it wasn’t as much of an adjustment as I thought it might be.  It really did change in an instant.  I guess my instincts kicked in.  I’ve had a lot to learn and figure out over the past several weeks, but it has been a blast.  Who knew a baby who mostly eats and sleeps could be so much fun?  She’s getting older now, though, and even more fun.  I love that she has started smiling and cooing.  I love every second with her. 
For the duration of my pregnancy, I’ve kept up with two blogs.  Now that it’s over, I think it’s time for a consolidation.  My focus has changed a little over the last several months, so I’m directing the blog to reflect that. 
Take the journey with me…