Monday, May 20, 2013

Winds of Change Keep Moving

Oh, where to begin? I’ve kind of fallen off the map, it seems, haven’t I? I’ve written a lot about change this year.  I just had this feeling at the beginning of the year that a lot of change was in store for us.  I wasn’t wrong.  And, so far, it keeps coming.  It started out kind of bittersweet, but it’s starting to get sweeter.  For the last month and a half, I’ve been working a schedule that is completely opposite of what I’m used to, and completely opposite of how my body is made to work.  Instead of working 3 days a week during the day, I’ve been working 6 days a week mostly at night.  It’s been brutal.  My pregnant body needs more sleep than that.  I’m exhausted.  My husband (who gets up early, and then stays up way later than his norm to see me when I get home) is exhausted.  We miss our time together.  Our daughter, who has always thrived on having both parents at once, misses our time together.  It just isn’t the best fit for us.  But, it’s kept her out of daycare and home with her parents and it’s kept food on the table. 

We’ve been praying for a while now that God would provide us with something different.  In fact, we were praying for that long before we started this current schedule.  Since we found out we were expecting our daughter three years ago, we’ve been praying that He would provide a way for me to stay home.  That was a surprise to me.  Never in my life had I pictured myself being a stay-at-home mom.  It’s funny how God changes your priorities and perspective over time.  We weren’t able to achieve full-time stay-at-home status, but we were able to keep me home more, and it worked for a while.  Lately, though, out of pure exhaustion and a feeling of defeat, I’ve been praying even more diligently that God would allow me to stay home.  I didn’t just want that, though.  I didn’t want my husband to have to work in a job that he hated.  I’ve done that, and there isn’t much that is more miserable.  In Sunday school last week, we asked again for prayer for jobs.  It wasn’t a new request, just a renewed one. 

Then, this week, God provided in a way that only He can.  We've both put in our notice, and in a couple weeks we’ll be moving on to a new chapter.  I’m excited to be able to stay home, and raise my own kids full-time, because ultimately I feel like that will be my greatest ministry.  I’m excited for my husband to be in a new role, similar to something he’s done in the past and really enjoyed.  He’ll do great.  I won’t go through all the details of the week, and how it all came about.  I’ll just say that it has felt like he answered every part of my prayer.  It won’t always be easy.  Sometimes money will be tight, but we’re kind of used to that.  And, I’m confident this is where God wants us. 


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