Friday, December 13, 2013
Friday, November 22, 2013
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Monday, July 29, 2013
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Monday, May 20, 2013
I’ve been busier, and more tired this pregnancy so I haven’t been nearly as good about documenting as I was the first time around. I don’t love this baby any less, but it’s a different scenario when my thoughts have to be split between the two. And, the child who is already here is much more demanding. I actually have to feed her, and care for her, and give her attention. I don’t have to do anything different, and the new baby is cared for completely. But, just so I make sure and document so I have something to look back on to help me remember when time and lack of sleep take their toll on my brain, here are some notable moments and some comparisons.
This baby has been kinder to me in some ways. The biggest way is that I don’t have cankles, at least not yet. I’d be perfectly happy to skip that altogether this time around. I do not miss all the swelling I had with Dinah.
In other ways, the little kick boxer has been less kind. For instance, with all the heartburn I’ve had this time, this kid had better have twice the amount of hair that big sister had.
I don’t remember how early I felt Dinah kick. I do know that I started feeling it a while before I was convinced that I was truly feeling baby movement. The first time I felt this one kick was early April, and it was obviously a baby movement. I didn’t really notice it anymore for a couple more weeks, though. Dean was able to feel movement this time much earlier than he did with Dinah. We were lying in bed the morning of our 20 week ultrasound, and I told him baby was moving. He put his hand on my belly, not really expecting anything, but he felt it right away.
Speaking of the ultrasound, it revealed that we’re having a baby boy! Our lives are going to change from dresses and dirt to…well, more dirt. It’s going to be different, I’m sure, but I’m betting it’s just as much fun!
Oh, where to begin? I’ve kind of fallen off the map, it seems, haven’t I? I’ve written a lot about change this year. I just had this feeling at the beginning of the year that a lot of change was in store for us. I wasn’t wrong. And, so far, it keeps coming. It started out kind of bittersweet, but it’s starting to get sweeter. For the last month and a half, I’ve been working a schedule that is completely opposite of what I’m used to, and completely opposite of how my body is made to work. Instead of working 3 days a week during the day, I’ve been working 6 days a week mostly at night. It’s been brutal. My pregnant body needs more sleep than that. I’m exhausted. My husband (who gets up early, and then stays up way later than his norm to see me when I get home) is exhausted. We miss our time together. Our daughter, who has always thrived on having both parents at once, misses our time together. It just isn’t the best fit for us. But, it’s kept her out of daycare and home with her parents and it’s kept food on the table.
We’ve been praying for a while now that God would provide us with something different. In fact, we were praying for that long before we started this current schedule. Since we found out we were expecting our daughter three years ago, we’ve been praying that He would provide a way for me to stay home. That was a surprise to me. Never in my life had I pictured myself being a stay-at-home mom. It’s funny how God changes your priorities and perspective over time. We weren’t able to achieve full-time stay-at-home status, but we were able to keep me home more, and it worked for a while. Lately, though, out of pure exhaustion and a feeling of defeat, I’ve been praying even more diligently that God would allow me to stay home. I didn’t just want that, though. I didn’t want my husband to have to work in a job that he hated. I’ve done that, and there isn’t much that is more miserable. In Sunday school last week, we asked again for prayer for jobs. It wasn’t a new request, just a renewed one.
Then, this week, God provided in a way that only He can. We've both put in our notice, and in a couple weeks we’ll be moving on to a new chapter. I’m excited to be able to stay home, and raise my own kids full-time, because ultimately I feel like that will be my greatest ministry. I’m excited for my husband to be in a new role, similar to something he’s done in the past and really enjoyed. He’ll do great. I won’t go through all the details of the week, and how it all came about. I’ll just say that it has felt like he answered every part of my prayer. It won’t always be easy. Sometimes money will be tight, but we’re kind of used to that. And, I’m confident this is where God wants us.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
This week, I will turn 30. It seems strange to be leaving my twenties. I’ve spent so much good time there that it feels like home. Can an age range feel like home? It’s just that so many of the high points have occurred in my twenties. There was college, and the fun and friendships and growth that comes with it. Those were some of the best years of my life. I met, began dating, and married my husband. He has enriched my life like I never could have imagined. And, he also added some family members to my life I didn’t know I was missing out on, but now wouldn’t know how to do without. I had my first child. She has brought such joy to my heart. I’ve had nieces who awakened yet another compartment in my heart I didn’t know existed. And so, now I’m about to move on to my thirties.
I know some people get a little anxious about that number. I figure I can’t change it, so I might as well enjoy it. Besides, I’ve heard people say that the thirties are the best. I’m already looking forward to welcoming a second child to our lives. I’m anxious to see what else these years will bring. I know these years won’t always be easy, just as the rest of my years haven’t always been easy. But, I’m excited to see what God will bring out of them.
Friday, March 15, 2013
·New house, outside of town (not as far out as we were, just not smack-dab in the middle like we are at the moment)
·iPhone case. Preferably blue with white polka dots. Or just a really pretty blue.
· Vacation. I’m not even that picky. I’d go just about anywhere.
·Facial and/or new makeup. I’m a little self-conscious about my skin lately.
· Job. Not for me, though. A really good job for Dean, so I can stay home.
· To hug all of my nieces.
· Joint birthday celebration with my good friend, like the old days (ok so maybe it only happened once, but it was one to remember)
There. That’s not too much to ask, is it? And, Hubby, if my wish list is too far-fetched, maybe we should just make it a week-long celebration.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Pacifier wipes. Before I had Dinah, I thought, “Dude. Just walk over to the sink and rinse it off.” After I had Dinah, I realized that sometimes you’re in the middle of the zoo and there isn’t a water faucet anywhere in sight. I also realized that it’s handy when you want to wipe off the table and the high-chair where your baby is sitting in the restaurant, because she puts her mouth on absolutely everything she comes in contact with. At least mine did. Her crib and our window sill had the teeth marks to prove it.
Pacifier thermometer. What a simple way to take the baby’s temperature, I thought. No worries of keeping the squirmy little doll still long enough to get a good reading. What I learned (and I’m thankful my sister-in-law pointed it out to me before I wasted the money) is that when a baby gets used to one pacifier, they don’t generally care to switch to a different kind. So, unless the thermometer is shaped like the pacifiers they are used to, they aren’t going to keep it in their mouth.
Blankets and bibs. Sure, these are both things you’ll need. They are also things people enjoy buying, and everyone knows you’ll need. Now I tell people to register for other things you need, because you’ll still get plenty of these two items. Dinah had about fifty blankets, and a thousand bibs. That could be a slight exaggeration.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Then last week, I got an email from another old friend. She forwarded me a message I had sent her from the same time. It was fun to go back and read my thoughts on what was going on in my life: college classes, my internship and mostly, of course, the guy I liked. It was one of the best summers of my life, and I love to go back and remember it. From the carefree mornings at the apartment pool with my friends, to the unique experiences of interning at a TV station, to my first date with the man I would later marry.
I’ve always enjoyed reminiscing about the good times, whether it be talking to my brothers about our childhood or talking to old friends about some activity we’d participated in, but I particularly love remembering the summer I started dating my husband. It was fun. It was carefree. I was pursued, and appreciated. I was right where I belonged. And, that is a good feeling.
Here’s to some of the good ol’ days!
Thursday, February 28, 2013
Me: Are you a baby?
Dinah: No, I’m a BIG ol’ Dinah!
Me: You little monkey.
Dinah: No, I Dinah (insert full name). Not a monkey.
Dean: *scolding the dog for digging under the fence*
Dinah: Don’t yell at my Mucket! (musket)
Dean: She’s in trouble.
Dinah: No. She loves me!
Dean: I know she loves you, but she is in trouble.
Dinah: I LOVE HER!
Dinah sitting on the couch with her daddy as I leave for work: Bye, Mama!
Me: Bye, baby. I love you.
Me peeking back into the room: What?
Dinah: Daddy loves you.
Now, I just need to get better about writing things down as she says them so I don't forget.
Friday, February 22, 2013
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Friday, February 8, 2013
1. The weather was nice early this week, so we took Musket to the dog park on Monday. Then we all went on a walk. On Tuesday, Dinah and I played with her in the backyard. I’ve got a good dog, and a good kid. I like them.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Although we thought the land would mostly just sit there for a couple years until we had the money to do something with it, God had other plans. The times when we have future plans, and God speeds them up have been a recurring theme in our marriage. So, a year later, we were moving into a camper on our land and starting construction on a house. Now here we are, in the process of selling it. We closed this afternoon. It’s been a great place. It’s been stressful, and cramped, definitely more crowded than we intended, but it’s been home. There are definitely things I’m going to miss, like…
the outside space
lots of trees to block the wind
room to shoot
knowing we built everything all on our own
knowing it’s our first place
house in perfect shape
And, there are things I won’t miss…
the drive time
commuting on a dangerous highway, people don’t pay attention
having only one bedroom
the cost of gas
not having a dishwasher
limited inside space
having everything crammed into one small space
heat & air window unit
being too far from the rest of civilization
having the washer & dryer in the same room as everything else
my car covered in dirt at all times
What I do know is that it is the most bittersweet feeling I’ve ever known.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Thursday, January 10, 2013
I’m going to be very honest, here. Insecurity is a very big struggle for me. I constantly feel like I’m not good enough. I think I’m not good at anything, or for anything. I struggle with it at home too, but not nearly as much. I find myself wondering, in the back of my head, if my husband thinks I’m stupid. The truth is, though, that thought in itself is stupid. That man is my strongest supporter, and my greatest encourager. I have no reason and no right ever to doubt his view of me. In fact, if I could see myself more like he does, I’d be much better off. In general, though, it’s a very big problem for me. Answering the question “what are you good at?” is a very big chore for me, because my first reaction is to say “nothing.” That’s not fair, though, and it isn’t true. God made me, and He made me just like He needed me to be. Absolutely, I’m weak on my own, and I need Him. And, that’s the way it’s supposed to be, so that He can be glorified and I can’t take all the credit. That doesn’t mean I’m worthless, though. And, it doesn’t mean He didn’t give every single one of us strengths and talents.
A week or so ago, my husband and I randomly started playing Truth or Dare. Don’t ask me why. That game went way differently than it ever did on the high school band bus, let me tell you. With dares like, “I dare you to take me out for Asian the next time we go out,” it quickly turned to simply Truth. So, in the midst of all that, or maybe inspired by that, I asked him what he thought to be my greatest talent. His answer was writing. That answer keeps coming to mind as I think of my goals for the next year. So, the first thing I’m putting on my list is to write more.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6